Mankind, by their nature, are said
to be social being, who engage with others and live within the concept of
family and circles of friendship. ‘Need and want’ are two aspects of human life
that bind us all together but if they are not met we feel unsupported by
others. We are all aware that loneliness is different from being alone and many
people enjoy the happiest of lives in the company of a book or by surrounding
themselves with nature. For many others, many Muslims included, engaging in the
remembrance and Glory of God fulfils their needs.
So what is loneliness? To me, it is the state of being where people
feel totally unsupported, their needs are not given any attention and they feel
socially alone even when surrounded by other people. In other words, they have
become a ‘social outcast’. We also develop this feeling of loneliness when we
have people around us with whom we don’t have meeting of minds, or a deeper
emotional connection or intellectual or social bond.
Many experts would say that
‘loneliness’ is not a mental health problem. Nevertheless, a long drawn out
period of being lonely can and does have an impact on the mental welfare of a
person and may adversely affect their lives.
Loneliness is at the root of many of
our physical ailments such as depression, anxiety, mental tension and sundry
other health problems.
Islam is well aware of the grave
human problem of loneliness and offers its own solutions, through Allah’s
teachings for the welfare of human life. So let us see how Islam deals with
this phenomenon of human loneliness.
Loneliness, as indicated earlier,
often arises from a feeling of social abandonment or lack of emotional,
spiritual and intellectual engagement in our lives. Islam deals with all of
these aspects to bring a purpose to human life.
Islam, through its teachings,
encourages a close relationship between a person and his Creator or Maker. What
does this close relationship with Allah mean in reality? Starting with the
spiritual aspect; a close relationship with God gives inner strength and
contentedness, no matter in what state we may happen to be, but also encourages
us to strive to attain a better state of being, through the Mercy of God, by
asking Him for it. One way to forge this relationship is to develop an attitude
of gratefulness to God.
The Quran says: ‘And call to mind
when your Lord proclaimed: If you give thanks, I will certainly grant you more
(increase you in My blessings), but if you are ungrateful to my favours, My
chastisement is terrible’. S14 V7
What does an attitude of
gratefulness mean? It is the recognition of the good things we have and to then
share them with others. This encompasses anything that others may lack in their
lives. It may look like a strange solution to loneliness, however, life is
meant to be about sharing and mitigating the pain of others, in order to make
our society a healthier place. If we pay only lip service in our gratefulness
to God and remain tight fisted and uncaring towards others, we commit an
unacceptable act in the Sight of God.
Islam emphasises that there is no
place for any feeling of despair in our relationship with God, for it will
dilute our faith in the bountiful providence of Allah. Islam encourages people
to travel in the pursuit of Allah’s blessings, as provision among other people
and in different parts of the world is affected by their places of residence.
Islam offers ways of engaging with
each other. The concept of ‘Jama`ah’, congregation or collectiveness in the
society, is very important and a religious requirement. It starts with the Five
daily obligatory prayers in congregation in the mosque. Then Friday is
designated as being the day of weekly festival, so that all people in the
society can engage and look after themselves and reduce any sense of
loneliness.
Zakah, or the payment of annual
obligatory charity and its distribution strictly among the people who well
deserve it, is another way to look after people and minimise their sense of
loneliness.
Fasting in Ramadan is a community event,
which engages the community as a whole. One of the names given to the month is
the ‘month of consolation and solace’ (al-muwasaat),i.e. when a person reaches
out to others suffering from a loss, lack of resources or community
congregations. This to show that fasting
is a support mechanism for all those who need support, seek social and
spiritual strength, wish to bond with others, and is not only an exercise in
being hungry and thirsty.
Society matters in Islamic
teachings. Islam engages people with each other. In a hadith, which is a saying
of the Prophet Muhammed, he outlines some of the social obligations placed upon
Muslims. He says: ‘The rights of a Muslim on another Muslim are six: when he
meets him he should greet him with peace, if he invites him he should respond
to his invitation, if he seeks some guidance or sincere advice from him, he
should give him such, if he sneezes and praises God, he should bless him, when
he gets ill he should visit him, and when he passes away he should attend the funeral.’
In another hadith, the Prophet
Muhammed likened the attitude of one person to another with a building, all of
its parts supporting it. He also said: ‘He who does not show mercy is not shown
mercy’. This is directed particularly towards the weakest in society, older
people, children, women, people in the service to others and orphans. They are
all likely to be more susceptible to loneliness.
The role of a neighbour is very
important in Islam in looking after the welfare of his own neighbours. The Prophet
Muhammed advised one of his companions about his neighbours saying: ‘Abu Dhar!
When you cook your curries, increase it with water and look after your
neighbour’.
Loneliness is also caused when a
person find himself unworthy and devalued by the people around him or does not
visit enough venues to engage in socially healthy contacts. Islam encourages
people and makes it a religious duty to engage with each other and help fulfil
other people’s needs. Congregations, collective actions, meetings are always to
be encouraged to achieve this. Attending the daily prayers in congregation is
said to be 27 times better than doing it alone. This is because a person’s
attendance increases his benefits to others, his care for the welfare of other
people and the society he is living in.
In conclusion, Islam offers a mix of
spiritual, social and economic solutions with which to deal with the problem of
loneliness. What would be best way to finish this? For me, nothing better than
a hadith of the Prophet Muhammed, highlighting the great sense of care in human
society, when he said: ‘The example of believers in their mutual love, merciful
acts and compassion towards each other is like a human body, when a particular
part of it suffers an ailment, all of the body falters with lack of sleep and
temperature’!
